


Lifting the Burden

by snarechan



Category: Escaflowne
Genre: Character Development, Character Study, Developing Relationship, Extended Scene, F/M, Gap Filler, Missing Scene, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-22
Updated: 2004-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-23 13:51:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarechan/pseuds/snarechan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hitomi, caught in the moment, seeks advice from a rather unlikely source. (Updated 08/25/17)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lifting the Burden

**Author's Note:**

> [Original on Google Drive](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JYwGdJJm1GSGlAdrTgSX5FbBU4GjHdjGMtKTVHzk2YE/edit)
> 
> _Published August 22, 2004 and modified August 25, 2017. This is an older work that is intended for personal consumption only, and should not be copied, altered, or redistributed. Content may be outdated or not represent canon, and does not reflect the views of the author._

Hitomi panted as she ran. Her pace quickened as she pushed herself to the limit. She had to concentrate; she considered each step, so she could _forget._

_"I'm partly to blame for what happened to the city."_

She grimaced as her mind continued to playback everything that'd happened. If possible, her feet picked up the pace, matching the frequency of words and pictures that flashed inside her head. One after the other, images invaded every nook and cranny of her thoughts, and made it hard to comprehend one or another.

_"Are you trying to pick a fight?"_

Hitomi felt the need to run to the end of the world, wherever it may be on this planet, and rushed against time. The wind pushed back as she raced. The slick grass made her mental faculties peak as it challenged her ability to pace herself. The scenery seemed to blur around her. Even then, she couldn't escape.

_"That is none of your business!"_

_"Don't hide anything from me, all right?"_

The sob that wracked her body couldn't be stifled. It was barely perceptible, lost in the quick intakes of breath. The sound of despair escaping urged Hitomi to focus harder, going through the motions instilled in her by the training she'd undergone for track.

In, out, in, out, in…out…

 _"I'll go back to the castle later. By_ myself _."_

With her eyes trained to the area ahead of her, she spotted the castle when it crested the territory. At first, it appeared like a toy play set, as if she could carry it wherever she went. As she maintained her frantic pace, however, the landmark rapidly increased in size until she was at its ironed gates. It no longer resembled a kid's play thing, but a rock solid fortress.

Hitomi shook her head and bypassed the entrance, running circles in the courtyard to the point her thighs began to throb and her feet burned. Their protests weren't what stopped her, though. A fleeting look above gave her pause, her gaze and musings now fixated on the largest presence in the sky.

 _Then_ her body's complaints caught her attention. She winced and leant over to rest both hands on her knees. It was difficult to slow her heartbeat, but she took advantage of the chance to distract herself. She dedicated her mind to the task, commanding her lungs to inhale precise amounts of air before slowly releasing it. The pattern repeated itself until her breathing returned to normal.

Gradually, as if afraid what she might witness, Hitomi bent at the hips and tilted her head back. Her arms were lax at her sides. She gazed up at the Phantom Moon – _her_ _home_. Hitomi's eyes softened as she watched Earth rest against the backdrop, no bigger than a beach ball she could wrap her arms around and carry.

"Do you miss it? Your homeland?"

She jolted, startled out of her wits as someone spoke up at her back. She turned to face them, although she already had an idea who it might be just by the sound of his voice. Despite that, she couldn't resist showing some of her surprise at the man's presence, having assumed he'd be off working on something or other like he was wont to do.

"Folken?" she asked.

He nodded in confirmation. Her body relaxed further in his presence, now that she knew it wasn't some stranger stalking her or someone liable to kidnap her once more. A silence spanned between them for a moment, before she remembered that he'd asked her a question.

"Sometimes I do. Well, maybe a lot of times," Hitomi answered honestly. Her stare trailed over to the 'moon' hanging up above.

Folken hummed in acknowledgement of her reply and followed her gaze. The two of them quietly observed the sight. Hitomi discovered she appreciated the moment of respite with him, it allowing her to decompress more from her run. It was easy to loosen up around Folken. His collected nature washed over her in waves and was contagious.

Furthermore, she felt like she could say anything in front of him. She could probably confess that she talked in her sleep or was afraid of moths, and not feel embarrassed by the admissions. She grinned at such a notion, wondering how Folken would react if she opened up about such things to him all of a sudden.

"Can I ask you something?" Hitomi blurted, forgetting to consider what she might say, and wished she could take it back. _Just because you feel like you can say anything doesn't mean you have to_ , she mentally scolded herself. Her head darted in Folken's direction as she awaited his response.

He inclined his head in a slight bow to show that he was listening. Without words, it was her understanding that she could speak of anything that was bothering her without worry. Hitomi was admittedly surprised at herself for knowing such a thing, but was hesitant to act on it.

"Um, well, it's kind of silly." She laughed nervously, feeling just as silly as the current direction of her thoughts.

"You may tell me. I won't think it's…silly," Folken said, his voice conveying sincerity.

Hitomi shifted from foot-to-foot as she debated. In the end, she decided to be out with it. Her mother always did say she needed to be more forthcoming. She asked, "Do you think that I'm…not being very helpful?"

 _There, I said my concern out loud! I feel less weighed down already,_ she thought in triumph, feeling like she'd beaten a new sports record. Hitomi looked to her companion, worried that during her internal dialogue she might have missed his reply. But all she'd received was a blank stare. A blush spread across her cheeks. Had she said the wrong thing?

"It's just, lately I feel like I'm not contributing enough. Or I'm bothering everyone and making them needlessly worry. I don't mean to, I really don't, but every time I try to do something good or say the right thing it goes wrong. Maybe I should—"

"No."

For the second time in a short span, Hitomi was shocked. She blinked curiously up at him, wondering about his interruption. Disrupting other people didn't strike her as a very 'Folken' thing for him to do (as far as she could tell), so she was bewildered at the cutoff.

Folken laid his flesh and bone hand on her shoulder, waiting for her body to relax. His tone was gentler when he said, "No. You've been obliging to everyone. Why would you think otherwise?"

She licked her suddenly dry lips and glanced around, before spotting the fountain nearby and taking a seat. "Like I mentioned, lately it just seems like I'm a burden? I guess, deep down, I know I'm not, but… Earlier, I said something to Van I probably shouldn't have. He's been so withdrawn and I felt compelled to say…"

He nodded along, the motion reassuring Hitomi. For once, having someone listen to her problems lifted a considerable pressure off her shoulders. Folken reminded her that she hadn't finished her trail of thought by prompting, "To say what, precisely?"

Hitomi ducked her head, hoping he won't take it the same way Van had, and said, "I asked him what kind of games you two played when he was little."

"I see."

"I wanted to straighten things out between the both of you, that's all," she blurted, not sure that's exactly what she wanted to convey, but it seemed the correct thing to say.

To her relief and delight, it seemed to have a positive effect on him because Folken hinted at a smile. His eyes drifted shut as he said, "Van never changes, does he?"

Hitomi wanted to share in his amusement, but whispered instead, "Why can't I get through to him?"

The question had plagued her for a while now. Another momentary stretch of silence spanned between them. She absently wrung her hands together in her lap as she eyed her dirty fingernails.

"You are not afraid of me?" The sudden change in topic had her reeling. He seemed to read the expression she wore, and added, "I am the man who used the Intensified Luck Soldiers to try and kidnap you."

She pursed her lips and considered the question. Not that she had to think too long or hard about it, since the answer came quick. "I can't say I'm _okay_ with it. But…" Hitomi trailed off, not sure how to word everything.

"But?"

"If I were scared of you, you'd be on guard, right?" She didn't pause this time, even as a peculiar expression crossed Folken's features. "I don't want that. If you don't trust people, they don't trust you."

Although she'd put every bit of truth she possessed into that statement, Folken looked unconvinced. "My seeking refuge may be part of a plan, you know."

It was one possibility. All of Folken's hard work could be a ploy to get them to fail, however, she couldn't bring herself to believe that. Blame it on her powers of insight, but she felt in her heart that he wouldn't resort to such tactics. Not anymore, not ever again.

"Even if it were, I think you'd return that trust. It might not come across clearly, though," she said with conviction. Then something occurred that Hitomi never dreamed she'd see. She almost didn't believe her vision, and was tempted to raise her fists and rub both eyes to be sure she wasn't hallucinating.

But it was real; Folken was _smiling_ at her. Not a small one, but an honest-to-goodness grin. A bubbly feeling similar of that time she accidentally drank too much wine in Asturia originated in her gut as she watched him. _No, it's much nicer than that. This feeling is so much better,_ she thought tenderly.

That's when she smiled back at him.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Notes** : In order of who was quoted earlier from the source material, from top down, were Hitomi, Merle, Van, Allen, and Hitomi.
> 
> Check out my [writing blog on Tumblr](http://snaurus.tumblr.com/) for more content!


End file.
